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What is Bullying?
Bullying is a deliberate act of making someone else feel down and less of what they are, repeatedly. It is an intentional misuse of power because most times the bully has an advantage over the person being bullied. Bullying can happen at any time in almost any place; in schools, neighborhood and even sometimes at home. Getting bullied might seem like a normal rite of passage to some people but the damage caused by bullying can be devastating it can lead to suppressed anger, depression, constant fear, among others. Bullies act out to make themselves popular, when they are jealous of you, to feel tough, to escape their own problems or because they are/were bullied themselves. They target teens based on physical appearance or social standing and they most pick on those who don’t fit in.
Types of Bullying
What makes bullying so dangerous is that it is constantly repeated and may have long lasting effects. The different types of teenage bullying are:
Verbal bullying: This may seem harmless but can be very hurtful. This is when someone is constantly being put down, belittled or teased using sarcasm to embarrass and hurt the other person in front of other people such as name-calling.
Physical bullying: This is the type of bullying that is the easiest to notice because there is evidence of the assault. This has to do with the show of dominance by punching, kicking, slapping, stealing, among other harmful show of force and this leaves the victim in a constant state of fear.
Emotional bullying: This is the subtlest form of bullying as it has to do with using emotional methods to make someone feel left out and alone. This form of bullying often leads to depression as other teens stigmatise the person being bullied.
Cyber bullying: This type of bullying has grown recently. This is the use of text messages, and social media platforms to continuously embarrass and humiliate someone. Just like hacking someone’s account and misusing or uploading of personal private information/images.
How Common is Teenage Bullying?
Family First Aid statistics show that about 30% of U.S. teenagers have had some bullying experience, either as the bullied or as the bully. Older teens bullying is less rampant than the younger teens, data suggests, or it may be that older teenagers are less susceptible to bullying. Boys engage more in physical bullying while girls tend towards the emotional and verbal bullying.
Teenage Bullying Effects
Physical bullying leaves a lot of physical injuries or problems in its wake. Verbal, cyber and emotional bulling has serious effects as well. It can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, violence, misplaced aggression, suicidal tendencies, drug use, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and stunted social development.
How to Reduce Teenage Bullying
Do not blame yourself for getting bullied, learn how to cope with stress, be true to yourself and get help. It is difficult to completely prevent bullying but there are certain things to do when it happens, such as:
Understand you are being bullied; always try to walk away from bullies, protect yourself if you can and report the situation to a trusted adult.
Look at bullying in a different light; figure out why this is happening, focus on the positives, help yourself in any way you can and seek help.
Find support from others; This is the most important of all, seek support from friends, online or in person and talk to teachers or adult authorities.read more
It’s true that all parents will disagree with their children at times, and may even shout every now and then. However it’s best to remain as calm as possible in these situations, as getting too upset is not good for you. It is natural that your feelings and emotions will be somewhat hurt during these times. Realize that moms and dads get stressed too, and sometimes shout when they should not do so. This does not make it right, but it happens in every families.
But there is also shouting that is nonstop. It can seem like every time you turn around your parents are shouting. This is considered to be a form of abuse, whether one is a child or teen still living at home, or even if the person is a grown adult. That form of verbal abuse is never acceptable.
Forms of shouting can include scolding, yelling, swearing, insulting, blaming, threatening, criticizing, demeaning and ridiculing you. This behavior is unacceptable from parents. It is considered to be dangerous, as these types of fierce episodes can lead to parents becoming physically violent, a fact backed by studies showing that shouting leads to physical violence.
The emotional damage that shouting causes is long term. The child may feel inferior, have a lack of self-worth, and be continuously afraid. This is not a normal or a loving way for a child to live. Every child should be loved and valued, and shouting parents don’t provide this type of environment.
Any child still living at home who endures this type of abuse should talk to a counselor, a teacher, a leader in the church, a police officer, or someone they trust to get the help they need. Some kids may be able to speak with their parents to try and calm the situations down. However, if their parents continue their bad behavior the child may have to be removed from the home by Child Protective Services for the sake of their safety and sanity.
Sandy L. says, “I had to call the police on neighbors who were shouting at their kids all the time. It was hard to hear the shouting all the time and the kids were crying and complaining to me about how their parents were always shouting. I did the right thing. The police talked to the parents, but the parents continued on. I called the police a few more times. Eventually, the kids were removed from the home by Child Protective Services, because the parents just would not quit shouting at those dear kids.”
Now, if you are a grown adult and have parents who shout, you have to take steps to deal with the situation. You should remain as calm as possible. Do not shout back, that will only make matters worse.
You are not to be a doormat. You are not to put up with all that shouting. You have every right to tell your parents that you do not accept their behavior. If they calm down, fine, but if they don’t then you should leave. No one has the right to disrupt the peace and shout at you.
If your parents are always shouting at you and there is no resolution in sight, then you do have a right to break off all communication with them. Denise W. says, “You have to keep your peace of mind and sanity. All that shouting will only steal it from you. Living life in peace and quiet without your parents is better than living with your parents in your life who shout and cause turmoil all the time. I had to separate from my parents for this reason. In the beginning, it was hard to do. But in the end, it was worth it. Also, I had to think of my safety, because my parents became violent easily. I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.”
Do keep in mind that as a teen who is struggling with their parents from time to time, realize that moms and dads get stressed too. They are not perfect either. Try your best to talk to them about how you feel. Maybe even get a trusted friend of the family to sit in on your chat to try to help resolve issues between you. Keeping the lines of communication open and positive can eventually build a great relationship with your parents.
Bill M. says, “My mom and dad have had issues where they shouted. It bothered me, but I talked to them and then they said they were sorry. I was surprised that just by talking to them about it, the shouting has really been reduced a lot. It this makes a better situation for all of us.”read more