Unleash Your ZebraBlog
It’s true that all parents will disagree with their children at times, and may even shout every now and then. However it’s best to remain as calm as possible in these situations, as getting too upset is not good for you. It is natural that your feelings and emotions will be somewhat hurt during these times. Realize that moms and dads get stressed too, and sometimes shout when they should not do so. This does not make it right, but it happens in every families.
But there is also shouting that is nonstop. It can seem like every time you turn around your parents are shouting. This is considered to be a form of abuse, whether one is a child or teen still living at home, or even if the person is a grown adult. That form of verbal abuse is never acceptable.
Forms of shouting can include scolding, yelling, swearing, insulting, blaming, threatening, criticizing, demeaning and ridiculing you. This behavior is unacceptable from parents. It is considered to be dangerous, as these types of fierce episodes can lead to parents becoming physically violent, a fact backed by studies showing that shouting leads to physical violence.
The emotional damage that shouting causes is long term. The child may feel inferior, have a lack of self-worth, and be continuously afraid. This is not a normal or a loving way for a child to live. Every child should be loved and valued, and shouting parents don’t provide this type of environment.
Any child still living at home who endures this type of abuse should talk to a counselor, a teacher, a leader in the church, a police officer, or someone they trust to get the help they need. Some kids may be able to speak with their parents to try and calm the situations down. However, if their parents continue their bad behavior the child may have to be removed from the home by Child Protective Services for the sake of their safety and sanity.
Sandy L. says, “I had to call the police on neighbors who were shouting at their kids all the time. It was hard to hear the shouting all the time and the kids were crying and complaining to me about how their parents were always shouting. I did the right thing. The police talked to the parents, but the parents continued on. I called the police a few more times. Eventually, the kids were removed from the home by Child Protective Services, because the parents just would not quit shouting at those dear kids.”
Now, if you are a grown adult and have parents who shout, you have to take steps to deal with the situation. You should remain as calm as possible. Do not shout back, that will only make matters worse.
You are not to be a doormat. You are not to put up with all that shouting. You have every right to tell your parents that you do not accept their behavior. If they calm down, fine, but if they don’t then you should leave. No one has the right to disrupt the peace and shout at you.
If your parents are always shouting at you and there is no resolution in sight, then you do have a right to break off all communication with them. Denise W. says, “You have to keep your peace of mind and sanity. All that shouting will only steal it from you. Living life in peace and quiet without your parents is better than living with your parents in your life who shout and cause turmoil all the time. I had to separate from my parents for this reason. In the beginning, it was hard to do. But in the end, it was worth it. Also, I had to think of my safety, because my parents became violent easily. I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.”
Do keep in mind that as a teen who is struggling with their parents from time to time, realize that moms and dads get stressed too. They are not perfect either. Try your best to talk to them about how you feel. Maybe even get a trusted friend of the family to sit in on your chat to try to help resolve issues between you. Keeping the lines of communication open and positive can eventually build a great relationship with your parents.
Bill M. says, “My mom and dad have had issues where they shouted. It bothered me, but I talked to them and then they said they were sorry. I was surprised that just by talking to them about it, the shouting has really been reduced a lot. It this makes a better situation for all of us.”